I recently talked with a close friend on a car ride, in attempts to clear my mind.
I expressed my recent discovery of what I have been feeling.. absolutely nothing.
I’m not quite sure when this feeling began, or whether it resulted from something. What I do know is that it has been effecting me more and more every day, growing larger within myself.
Sometimes I cry
But I do not mourn
Sometimes I scream at the thought of anger
But I do not hate
This feeling of nothingness has made everything unenjoyable, unoriginal. Meaningless.
Everyday seems like an overplayed, drawn out film that I’ve seen a thousand times. I know every line, and the plot: predictable.
The same things that made me happy before became petty.
I am useless to mankind, I’m not causing a change.. stuck repeating the same thing everyday.
I am currently surviving but I am not living.
How do I begin to feel again
A person who was once very emotionally in-tune, doesn’t even flinch at the thought of love or hate or sadness.
When did I become so numb
Or is it that I am feeling everything at once?